Dear Dr. Standley: (How Can I Get Someone Else To Change?)
I hope you can help me. I have a friend who has the most irritating laugh I have ever heard in my life.
She sounds worse than nails on a blackboad. When we are out somewhere and she laughs, the whole place turns to see if something is wrong. I've tried to be tactful, but she just won't take a subtle hint. How should I proceed?
Thanks,
No Name No Location
Dear No Name:
Great question! I have also dealt with this gnawing issue all my Life. My laugh has been complimented, mocked and even complained about on the radio. Many people get a kick out of it and say that I sound like a little girl and others just flat out think it is fake. I have been shushed, yelled at and even pinched to get me to stop laughing. Naturally, I cannot help but be a little suspicious of this e-mail as to whether it is coming from a radio show listener and whether it is really about 'someone else'. (winky wink)
Even so, laughingly with a wink and smile, I would like you to read the remainder of this e-mail as slowly as possible while pondering the things that I ask . . . gently scroll down the page . . . . as slow as you possibly can . . . before moving on to the next question:
Begin scrolling here very very slowly . . .
What is your favorite type of book to read? Is it biographies, history, science, health, spirituality? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What is your favorite type of movie to see? Do you like drama, action-adventure, comedy, sci-fi, western, porn? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
Where do you like to go on vacation? If you could choose your favorite spot to go without any influence from someone else . . where would that be? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
And how do you like to wear your hair? Do you part it down the middle, on the side or comb it straight back? Do you have hair? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What type of restaurant do you like to go to? If the choice was only yours, where would you go out to eat? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
Do you drink alcohol? If so, how do you act when you consume it? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What is your nastiest habit that you don't want anyone else to know? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What childhood memory continues to gnaw at your emotions? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
How has your relationship with your mother impacted your Life? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
How has your relationship with your father impacted your Life? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
Who or what is your diety? Do you practice your faith in a diety or do you merely say that you believe in something? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What does your walk look like? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What do you look like when you run? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What is your kiss like? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
How do you feel about other people's children? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
How do you show others that you love them? What do you do? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
How do you hold a fork and eat your food? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What do you sound like when you eat something very very hot? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
How do you feel about pets? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What is your political stance and how do you express it whether you claim a party or not? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
How do you 'behave' when you are angry? Do you throw things, abuse someone, abuse yourself, cry . . . . or go to a quiet space and think? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What do you 'sound' like when you are angry? Do you scream, yell or try to talk things out? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
How do you behave when you are happy? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What do you do that others know you are happy? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What makes you sad . . . really really sad? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
And how would anyone know that you are sad? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What does your voice sound like? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
What does your laugh sound like? Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
Contempate all of these things about you. Imagine for a moment trying to change one thing about you. Try to change one of those things that make you so unique and different. Close your eyes, think and then slowly keep scrolling
Now imagine what it is like to change someone else.
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Dear Dr. Standley: (How Can I Get Someone Else To Change?)
Dear No Name: